No Place Like Home for the Holidays
by Outsiders Obsessor
Summary: "Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays! Cause no matter how far away you roam..." Peter Parker comes to Avengers Tower for the holidays, and he begs the Avengers to let him decorate for Christmas. Throughout his break from school, Peter teaches the traditions of Christmas to Thor, Loki, and a variation of other guests he invites. To: My Soul Sister Rival Argentica.
1. Christmas Spirit

**No Place Like Home for the Holidays**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the canon characters in this story; they are owned respectively by** ** _Marvel_** **and any other affiliated companies and people. I would like to say Rest in Peace to the amazing Stan Lee who passed away on November 12** **th** **; you will be sincerely missed.**

* * *

 _Dedication: It is my pleasure to dedicate this monster of a Secret Santa gift to my Soul Sister Rival Argentica for Secret Santa 2018. Rival Argentica, you are one of my very best friends even though we have never met in person; I am so glad we connected nearly three years ago over my story Love Is Worth More Than Gold. I sincerely hope you love your Secret Santa gift! Also, I do not own any of the songs that may be mentioned throughout this fic; they belong to their respective owners. (However, I highly encourage you all to listen to the songs mentioned within the chapter so that you may get an idea of the chapter's overarching mood and feeling. With all that out of the way, let's begin the story!_

* * *

 _Chapter One: Christmas Spirit_

Tony Stark, genius, playboy, billionaire lets out a heavy sigh as the singing outside his lab starts up once again.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" Peter Parker's voice loudly sings, his volume rising ever so slightly on the end of Andy William's famous Christmas song by the same name. "With the kids jingle-belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer! It's the most wonderful time of the year!" the teenage Spiderman continues to sing, a happy smile on his lips as he rushes around the bottom floor of Avengers Tower, searching for a collection of boxes that may or may not even exist.

"Kid, you gotta stop it with the singing!" Tony suddenly calls out, appearing in the door of his lab, clothed in black jeans and a flannel shirt, his hands covered in motor oil and grease from where he was making improvements to yet another one of his Iron Man suits. "I can only take so much of it in _November,"_ Iron Man continues, and Peter suddenly skids to a halt, turning around and fixing Tony with one of the most innocent stares the genius has ever seen in his entire life.

"But, Mr. Stark!" Peter chirrups, his face switching to a slightly crestfallen one when Tony begins to glare at the high schooler. "It _is_ the most wonderful time of the year! Christmas is coming in a month and two days exactly!" Spiderman continues, joy evident on his face as his eyes sparkle with possibilities and pure enjoyment of the holiday season.

"Exactly, Peter. Thanksgiving was just _yesterday;_ give my body time to digest the turkey we had before you start trying to shove the Christmas spirit down my throat," Tony says in all seriousness, wiping the grease from his hands on a small towel. "What even are you doing down here, kid? I thought you and Clint were gonna teach Cap and Bucky how to play Mario Kart where you could all have a grand prix of the three generations and see who's the best equipped to win the races," he inquires, thinking back to how excitedly Clint and Peter had concocted the plan last night in front of a very amused Bucky Barnes, a curious Steve Rogers, and an utterly confused Thor Odinson.

"I'm looking for the Christmas decorations, Mr. Stark!" Peter reveals, and it is just then that Tony notices that the young Spiderman has a floppy red and white Santa hat proudly sitting atop his head. "Miss Pepper said there might be some down here if I looked hard enough!" he excitedly remarks, and that comment makes Tony look incredulously at his young pupil.

"Pepper told you there might be Christmas decorations down here?" Tony asks in confusion, not quite sure why Pepper would think there were such trinkets in _Tony's lab_ of all places.

"Mm-hmm! She said that you never really get into celebrating the holidays on your own, because you're usually much too busy for such things, but when she decorates, Pepper said you _always_ come up to at least compliment her tree decorating skills and eat Christmas cookies!"

"Oh, she did, did she? Well, look, kid, there's a reason why I never really participate in any of the traditional touchy-feeling aspects of the holidays. I never really had a family to spend it with, all right? Jarvis was the only person who ever even noticed my existence around the holidays; my dad's busiest business days were always around the holidays, and usually he'd always drag my mom into them as well, promising her they would be like mini-vacations for her."

"That's so sad, Mr. Stark!" Peter begins before Iron Man cuts him off, making a shooshing noise like he does whenever Peter was in trouble around homecoming.

"Exactly, Peter. That's why I never told anyone besides Pepper that story. Can't have anybody thinking less of me, can I?" Tony states with no emotion whatsoever present in his voice, but Peter can see the pain on the older man's face.

"That's yet another reason why we should decorate early this year! To help you catch up on all the holidays you've missed in the past!" Peter Parker continues to grow his idea, a huge smile on his lips, the Santa hat flopping over his forehead and threatening to cover one of his eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid! Slow down," Tony laughs, taking the moment to snatch the Santa hat from Peter's head and hold it out of the teen's reach. (Without the help of webshooters, that is.) "If you can get one more person in the tower _besides_ Pepper to agree that we need to start decorating early, then I will personally take you out shopping for Christmas decorations for the tower myself," the billionaire of Stark Industries states the wager, a confident look on his face as he looks Peter in the eyes. "Do we have a deal, Spiderman?" he inquires.

"It's a deal, Mr. Stark!" Peter shouts with a determined look on his face before the young man takes off and practically vaults towards the elevator to try and find someone who will agree with him and prove Tony Stark wrong.

When Peter leaves, Tony slips the Santa hat onto his own head, starting to mumble "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" under his breath, because Tony has to admit it is one of the catchier Christmas songs Peter could have gotten stuck in his head.

* * *

When Peter enters into the common room, his breath coming out in gasps, Bruce, Natasha, Thor, and Steve all jump to their feet, concerned for the youngest superhero in New York.

"What ails you, young Master Parker?" Thor inquires in concern, kneeling beside the fifteen-year-old, wanting to make sure that the young man is feeling all right.

"Is something the matter, Peter?" Natasha questions, coming forward and looking at the teenager with such devotion that Peter almost believes that his own mother would have acted in just this way had she not perished when Peter was young.

"You doin' all right there, champ?" Steve asks, and Peter can't help but shoot the Captain a smile, assuring the war hero that he is perfectly fine.

"Is there something I can do to help you, Peter? Do you feel sick or anything? I could run some tests to—" Bruce begins, only to be cut off by Peter himself.

"Guys! No, nothing's wrong with me. I feel perfectly fine; I promise," Peter assures, a smile on his lips, and a collected sigh of relief escapes from the adults' lips.

"Would ya leave the poor kid alone and let him speak?" Bucky speaks up from across the room on the couch, a controller in hand as he waits patiently for Peter to come and show him how to play Mario Kart. "He's barely been in the room for two seconds and you're all looking at him like he's caught the plague or something," the Winter Soldier continues, and Clint laughs in agreement at that before clinking his beer bottle against Bucky's.

"Mr. Stark thinks that's it's much too early to start decorating for Christmas since it's only the day after Thanksgiving, but I don't think so! He says that if I can get one of you to agree with me, then he will personally take me to buy Christmas decorations and I can start as soon as we get them!" Peter explains to the Avengers and Loki, whom is sitting in one of the large armchairs, his feet curled under him as he reads _A Tale of Two Cities,_ a book recommended to the God of Mischief by Jane merely a week earlier.

At first, all of the Avengers are silent, mulling over the idea in their minds, trying to think of where they fall on the Tony versus Peter wager; Peter isn't quite sure that is a good sign.

* * *

Suddenly, an influx of answers begins to flood Peter Parker, and the young man smiles at most of the responses merited by the Avengers and the God of Mischief.

"I don't think it's too early to start decorating, Peter," Bruce honestly admits, thinking about how much he loves the tenderness of the holiday in addition to the green apple flavored candy canes he adores so much.

"Bucky, when did we start decorating before the war?" Steve inquires, having a nearly perfect memory, but not quite being able to recall this detail since Christmas was more about family and less about decorations and presents back in the days of Steve's and Bucky's childhood days.

"I think around December 1st, if memory serves me right, Steve," Bucky answers back, finally just deciding he would try and figure out the controls to Mario Kart by himself since it didn't look like Peter Parker was going to help him learn any time soon now that the kid has a bet with Tony Stark.

"I thought so! Peter, I don't think November 23rd is too early to decorate for Christmas," Captain America begins to explain in that charming, sweet voice of his, and it is no surprise to any of the present company- Loki excluded- as to why the war hero was chosen to represent all that was wholesome and good in America during the fight against the Germans. "It's only about a week earlier than Bucky and I would begin to decorate with the tree, and Avengers Tower is certainly going to need more than just a tree to look festive," he continues, a large smile on his face as he thinks of the absolute purity of shedding a bit of Christmas spirit on the Avengers tower amidst all of the turmoil and darkness existing in the modern world.

"Couldn't have said it better myself, buddy," Bucky chimes in, biting down on his lip as he spins off the road on Mario Kart, earning the Winter Soldier last place as Clint crosses the finish line in second place due to the computerized Luigi overtaking him at the last possible second.

"I'm in!" Clint agrees, a boyish smile on his lips as he thinks of all the fond memories of Christmas he has with his amazing wife Laura and their children on his family farm. "It's the first Christmas that Nathaniel may _actually_ remember now that he's three-years-old, so I definitely always try to make those the best Christmases for my kids," the master of any bow and arrow continues, starting a new race for himself and Bucky on Mario Kart, giving the World War veteran some tips this time on how to better stay on the road and how to use the power ups properly.

"Miss Natasha?" Peter questions, thinking that the red-headed assassin has been a bit too quiet throughout the entire exchange.

"To be honest, Peter?" Natasha rhetorically asks, sighing as she knows her explanation and answer are not going to go over well with the teenager. "I couldn't care less to start decorating for Christmas now. I'm actually with Tony on this one, shocking as that is," she reveals, and Peter's surprised gasp is one of the most heart-wrenching she has ever heard in her entire life.

"I am surprised at that! Why don't you like Christmas?!" Peter practically begins to sob out, his eyes filled with shock and disappointment, not sure how anyone could not like the Christmas spirit, especially when surrounded by some of the best people in any of the galaxies.

"Yeah, Nat! Don't be such a killjoy!" Clint calls from the couch, spinning the Wii remote in his hand as he makes a sharp turn on the road of Waluigi Stadium, knocking King Boo off of the road in the process. "You're gonna want to pick up a powerup, Bucky. It'll especially help you on this part in the course," Hawkeye then cuts himself short to explain the game, continuing on the course while still remaining a part of the original discussion on Christmas.

"Kid, when you're an assassin who was trained from a very young age to simply be a killer, you don't end up with very many good memories, let alone did you get to take time out for activities such as Christmas or Christmas decorating," Black Widow gives the context to Spider-Man about her lackluster, grueling childhood in which hardly any holidays were celebrated. "So, I grew up not caring to put up any Christmas decorations, because it's not like I was ever in one place long enough to enjoy them, and I didn't have anyone to spend it with. Christmas was just another excuse to remember how alone I was during the holidays," she makes known, and Peter's arms are around her faster than she can even process, a feat which amazes the female Avenger greatly.

Nearly _no one_ in the entire world had reflexes as honed and lightning-fast as Black Widow's, yet the youngest member of their team somehow managed to pull one over on her without the assassin even getting the smallest hint he might.

* * *

"Clint, you were in the same boat I was. Tell him," Natasha tries to get some back-up on the argument, thinking her once enemy turned long-time friend might try and help her out in this instance.

"Nat, I'm _crazy_ about Christmas. I Facetimed Laura and the kids _every year_ on Christmas, no matter where I was, because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't wish them a Merry Christmas and show them that their Daddy was safe and happy, no matter where he was in the world," Clint reminds her, and Natasha can't help but recall all of the times she had to yell at Hawkeye to hurry up during his calls where they could continue their mission, as Budapest was one of said missions in which he nearly got them killed while watching Cooper try out his new bike in the Barton household's living room. "So, for once, I'm not on your side for an extended amount of time, and I'm stayin' that way!"

Peter can't help but chuckle, releasing Natasha from the hug, looking around at all of the beaming faces surrounding him, thankful he has found a larger family that loves him, quirks and all. Granted, Aunt May would always be his family, but it was incredibly sweet and heartwarming that all of the Avengers have adopted Peter as their younger brother, or son in the case of Tony and Pepper, even though the genius billionaire may be a bit more hesitant in admitting it than Pepper is.

"Yes!" Peter shouts, pumping his fist in the air, a large smile on his face before he does a large backflip across the living room, landing in front of Thor, making the God of Thunder chuckle warmly at the teenager's antics and obvious excitement. "I got Captain America, the Winter Soldier, the Incredible Hulk, Hawkeye, _and_ Miss Pepper to agree with me that we should start decorating! That's a lot more than just the one Mr. Stark wanted me to get!" he shouts in glee, and Steve smiles brightly at the infectious nature of the young Spider Man. "I'm gonna go tell him right now! Thor, Loki, are you two not going to vote?" Peter questions, not wanting the two Asgardian brothers to feel left out of the decision-making process.

Thor and Loki share a rather befuddled look with one another, Loki's brows furrowed in utter confusion as he frowns at his blonde-haired adopted brother, wondering if the God of Thunder knows of whatever Midgardian tradition the young Spider-ling was rambling on about while Loki was _trying to read._ Thor just shrugs at his younger brother, the same confusion working its way onto the God of Thunder's face as he stretches backwards to work out the crick in his back, an action which flexes his biceps in the process.

"What, pray tell, is this Christmas, young Master Parker?" Thor inquires in the sweetest, most innocent way possible, and everyone wishes Jane Foster were here to explain the holiday to her husband and brother-in-law.

The renowned scientist always has such a way with words, and Thor gladly soaks in any new information his wife presents to him. However, now the men and Natasha would have to take over the explanations for today while Jane was out on a crucial mission of her own.

* * *

After nearly an hour of explanations, Loki and Thor are left with a basic understanding of what Christmas is and why it is important to the Avengers. However, at many times during the explanations, someone had to cut Steve Rogers off, as he was trying to incorporate his characteristic patriotism and religious side, to which Natasha reminded the Captain that some of the present company are not as religious as he is while Bruce reminded Steve that Thor and Loki didn't practice Christianity, so they only needed a working definition in order to understand the holiday season and why Peter was so excited to start decorating.

"So, what I have come to deduce is that this Christmas is meant to be a hybrid celebration of both the winter solstice and the birth of the sacred baby in a manger in Bethlehem, but it is mostly to celebrate the birth of the baby who is actually your God's son," Loki synthesizes all of the information he has heard within the past hour from the Avengers. "Am I correct?" he inquires, his shrewd mind and ability to memorize important details big or small, storing away all facts gained from this venture.

"Yes, Loki. That is a fair explanation," Clint agrees, and Loki chances a small smile before turning back to his reading.

"I do believe I shall enjoy this holiday, young Master Parker! When do we begin the revelry and merrymaking?" Thor announces, a perfectly cheerful and innocent smile on his face.

"As soon as possible, Thor. As soon as Mr. Stark takes me shopping for decorations," Peter grins back, plopping down on the couch beside Thor, picking up a Wii remote in the process to prepare and beat Bucky and Clint in the next Mario Kart race.

"So, how'd the bet go, kid?" Tony inquires as he walks in unannounced, making nearly everyone in the room leap to their feet, save for Loki who remains enthralled in the conclusion of the novel and Natasha who has pure nerves of steel.

"You lost!" everyone in the Avengers Tower choruses, save for Natasha, who lost the bet alongside the genius.

"On the first day of Christmas, the Avengers gave to me: permission to put up a tree!" Peter joyously sings his new rendition of _The Twelve Days of Christmas,_ much to Tony's dismay and Natasha's chagrin.

Christmas is officially coming to Avengers Tower.

* * *

 **Author's Note: And there it is! Chapter One of, hopefully, twelve chapters to come. I am writing this Author's Note on Thanksgiving since I forgot to write it when I finished the chapter last week, and I just want to say that I am thankful for each and every one of my dear readers who continue to read my work either for one fandom or for very many fandoms, such as in the case of Rival Argentica. Rival Argentica, I am very, very, extremely thankful for you; you are one of the best friends I have ever had in the entire world, and we haven't even met! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of your Secret Santa gift; I worked very hard to come up with the premise and even though I haven't seen** ** _Infinity War_** **yet, I have heard the ending was disastrous, so I decided that everyone would not be tormented by Infinity War and everyone would remain** ** _alive,_** **because I can't keep myself from all spoilers and have seen somewhere that at least** ** _some_** **heroes die, although I do not know which. All that to say, I sincerely hope you enjoy, Rival Argentica! There's a lot more where this came from!**


	2. Deck the Halls

**No Place Like Home for the Holidays**

 _Chapter Two: Deck the Halls_

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the canon characters; they belong to Marvel, Stan Lee (may he rest in peace), and any other respective owners.**

* * *

Merely two days after the wager has concluded, Peter proclaims to the Avengers and Loki that it is time to start decorating, although he begins in such a manner that confuses the two Asgardians greatly.

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly!" Peter loudly sings, sliding down the staircase railing, barely managing to avoid knocking Pepper down as she climbs up the stairs to look for the teenager.

"Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!" Bucky choruses back, following Peter in sliding down the staircase, leaping from the bannister and landing squarely on the balls of his feet, a massive smile on his face.

"'Tis the season to be jolly!" Steve joins in, taking the stairs two at a time as he walks down like a normal person, pausing to lift the immensely heavy box from Pepper's hands. "Let me help you with that, ma'am," Captain smiles, sliding the box into his own hands and effortlessly carrying the box down to the base of the stairs.

"Why, thank you, Steve," Pepper grins at the soldier, appreciating Steve's kindness and down-to-earth nature that presides over ever second of his day. "Peter, I was just coming to find you!" she announces, and that catches Spiderman's attention even while the high school boy is planning a future video game tournament with the Winter Soldier. "All of the ornaments arrived this morning, so we're ready to get a tree!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" Peter cheers, pumping his fists in the air as he practically bounces up and down. "Thank you, Miss Pepper! I appreciate it so very much!" he smiles enthusiastically, grabbing his Santa hat and placing it back on his head to help ring in the Christmas spirit once more.

"You're welcome, Peter," Pepper sweetly says to the young man she thinks of as a son, grasping one of his hands in her own and giving it a light squeeze. "On the second day of Christmas, the Avengers gave to me: two hundred ornaments," the manager of Stark Industries beautifully sings, and the smile on Peter's face only grows at the reference to the song he made up a few days prior.

"And permission to put up a tree!" Peter finishes the song, and then he turns his attention to Steve as the super soldier puts the box of ornaments on top of the bookshelf in the common room where Thor is giving Jane a much-needed foot massage while Loki talks animatedly about the conclusion of _A Tale of Two Cities_ to the female scientist. "Captain, can we go and buy a tree from the Christmas tree farm?" the youngest Avenger inquires with a cheery tone of voice, his face lighting up with joy.

* * *

"They have a _farm_ for your Christmas _trees?"_ Thor questions in confusion, pressing a kiss to Jane's temple before continuing. "I was unaware that trees required care in order to flourish in this land," the God of Thunder mumbles, uncertainty written on his face, causing Jane to turn around and look her husband in the eyes.

"Thor, what exactly do you think needs to be taken care of on a farm?" Jane asks him, leaning against his broad, muscular chest, laughter in her voice as she awaits one of Thor's famous explanations.

"Why, animals, Jane! Cows, pigs, chickens, horses, possibly a dog or two, and Captain America told me that some farms raise reindeer if they are far enough North to need an animal to withstand the cold," the blonde Asgardian reveals, a serious expression on his face as he wonders why Jane would think anything else would need to be cared for on a farm.

Surely the animals were the only living creatures on a far that required care, right?

"You truly are an _idiot,_ brother," Loki deadpans, setting his newest book on the coffee table and fixing his brother with the most annoyed stares he can manage. "How do you think crops are grown? All the corn and potato products you eat on Midgard have to come from somewhere, and _someone_ has to take care of them!" the God of Mischief explains, annoyance dripping from his voice as Thor simply shrugs.

"Plants can grow on their own without human interference! Trees on Asgard grew to a great height without anyone having to feed it or…"

"That is because no one on Asgard was going to _eat_ the trees! For the son of Odin, you are really not the brightest sometimes, brother."

"Could we not, by any means, travel to the forest and procure a tree of Christmas, young Master Parker?" Thor inquires, clothed in a red flannel shirt and a pair of black jeans, looking for all the world like a true Midgardian. "Or are the trees at this so-called tree farm special in any way?" the God of Thunder inquires, thoroughly confused as to why Peter would want to go and _purchase_ a tree when they could surely get one from the woods much more easily.

"They never had those when I was a kid," Steve brings up a valid point, and Bucky can't help but shake his head in agreement. "Bucky and I would go and get a tree from the forest with his dad every year, and then we'd decorate it ourselves," the war hero reminisces, a soft shine coming into his eyes as he reflects on Christmases spent at the Barnes household.

"I think we should just take the kid to cut down a Christmas tree," Bucky remarks, already moving towards the elevator to go down and get a saw from Tony's lab. "It'll be a good experience for him and be for old times' sake, Steve," the Winter Soldier finishes his thought before descending nearly fifty floors down to Tony's lab.

"And I know just the spot to get one!" Clint cheers, wrapping a blue and red scarf around his neck before grabbing a pair of black gloves from the coffee table. "Thor, Loki, do you want to come, too?" Hawkeye inquires, knowing the two Asgardian brothers absolutely love learning new traditions while on Earth.

"I shall love to join you on this most festive and important excursion!" Thor announces in a booming voice, a genuine smile on his face.

"Don't forget a coat, Thor!" Jane calls to her husband and true love as he leaps up from the couch, scrambling towards the elevator to ride to the ground floor with Clint, Steve, and Peter while Bucky finishes getting the saw from downstairs.

Loki, without any affirmation or denial stands up from the couch and makes his way over to the departing group.

* * *

The God of Mischief is then stopped by a rather large hand pushing against his chest. Loki looks up to see none other than Bruce Banner standing in front of him with a rather displeased and threatening look on his face.

"If you try and ruin this holiday and tradition for them, Loki, then I swear to you that I _will not hesitate_ to let the other guy come out and beat you into the floor as I did when you first arrived in New York with the Tesseract," Bruce comments, his vein bulging in his neck, proof of his annoyance and bubbling anger for the mischievous Asgardian prince.

"Duly noted," Loki swallows thickly, the lump in his throat rising as he desperately wishes to leave and follow his brother outside of Avengers Tower before Bruce loses control and lets the Hulk escape once more.

"Do I make myself clear, puny God of Mischief?"

"Crystal."

Wasting no time, Loki uses his magic to teleport himself downstairs, arriving at the same time as Bucky does with the giant saw in hand.

* * *

"Did everybody remember to bundle up?" Steve questions, ever like the Dad of the Avengers, oblivious to the fact that such a domestic question seems out of place to Loki who just had his life threatened by the Incredible Hulk.

The drive to Clint's secret location to cut down a tree takes nearly three hours, and Peter is, frankly, starting to get a little bit bored. This had been his idea to start decorating incredibly early so as to have plenty of time to engage in the Christmas spirit, but driving for hours on end had not been something that had been on Peter Parker's list of "Fun Christmas Activities to do with the Avengers".

"Couldn't we have just pulled a Will Ferrell and gotten the tree from a park?" Peter practically whines, throwing his head backwards against the headrest, staring out the window in hopes that will distract him.

Steve looks at the young man in utter confusion before chancing to make a comment.

"I didn't understand that reference," Steve reveals, and Peter definitely knows what movie they _have_ to watch before Christmas Eve this year.

"Neither did I," Bucky admits, matched with twin nods from Thor and Loki who are also lost on the subject.

"It's a Christmas movie, guys," Clint responds to the two World War veterans and the members of the Asgardian royal family, making sure to keep his eyes on the road as he switches lanes to prepare and take the next exit. "Will Ferrell was in a movie called _Elf,_ and he took his half brother to cut down a tree in Central Park for the Christmas tree while their father was at work," he explains, and all four of the confused people in the backseat let out a collective 'Ah' of understanding.

"Sounds like a crime waiting to happen," Steve comments, and Clint can't help but snort from the driver's seat.

" _That_ is why we can't get a tree from Central Park, kid," Clint directs to Peter, moving the car onto the exit ramp and preparing himself for the frigid temperature that is sure to soon welcome them upon getting out of the SUV. "It'd be a felony, Peter, and Cap would never let us get away with it, anyway," Hawkeye jokes good-naturedly, pulling his SUV to a stop and then shutting off the ignition. "All right, everybody. We're here!"

"When did you become so mature, Barton?" Bucky inquires, climbing over the backseat before Peter has time to raise the middle row to release the Winter Soldier from the back row of seats where he and Steve had been sitting, which left Peter, Thor, and Loki in the middle row, with Peter sandwiched in the middle, naturally.

"Three kids ago, Barnes," Clint proudly smiles, thinking of Cooper, Lilah, and Nathaniel coming to Avengers Tower with Laura closer to Christmas once the two older kids' school semester ends.

"Let us commence with the journey to find the perfect tree of Christmas for young Peter Parker!" Thor cheers, pumping his right fist in the air before following after Clint and Bucky.

Loki rolls his eyes, knowing that this is going to be a long 'family' trip, and not quite sure why he had let Hawkeye talk him into coming, especially with Banner's threat still lingering in the God of Mischief's mind.

* * *

As the trudge for the perfect tree continues, most of the Avengers begin to voice their complaints, making Loki roll his eyes while Steve Rogers once more steps into his role as the team's Dad.

"My nose is freezing!" Peter sniffs, feeling the tip of his nose starting to numb in the absolutely frigid New York temperatures.

"I told you to bring a scarf," Steve deadpans, taking off his own scarf and handing it over to the teenager, which Peter graciously accepts and then wraps it around his face.

"My fingers are going numb," Bucky mumbles under his breath as he trudges along beside Clint, but Steve still manages to hear his best friend and brother in arm's comment.

"And I told you to bring gloves, Bucky," the Super Soldier reminds, shuffling through the snow with a smile gracing his lips as he thinks of how warm he personally is due to all the layers of red, white, and blue clothes currently on his body.

"What good would one glove have done me, Steve?" Bucky demands, clenching his one fist of flesh to try and get feeling back into his digits. "I could've only worn one glove since there is no glove in the world that would fit this metal arm. It's bad enough people stare at me for only having one arm, but having just one glove would be license for _anyone_ to mock me!" the Winter Soldier defends his own actions, starting to ignore the tingling sensation in his right hand.

"It is a fashion crime, Captain!" Peter grins, leaping through the snow like one would imagine an excited dog to do upon seeing its first snow.

Steve can't help but chuckle watching the young man get so excited about Christmas, and Captain America smiles widely as Clint throws a snowball at the back of Peter's neck, making the boy spin around so fast to get retaliation on Hawkeye.

"This is what Christmas is all about," Steve quietly muses aloud, watching as Thor joins in, racing Peter to the nearby thicket of evergreen trees where they can prepare to cut down the perfect Christmas tree.

"I don't understand how they are all so cold," Loki says in a snarky tone of voice, his bare hands exposed to the freezing temperatures. "It's just a little snow and cold weather," the second Prince of Asgard remarks, his Frost Giant blood helping to keep his body at an above average winter temperature.

"We found the perfect tree!" Peter's excited call drowns out any further comments from the God of Mischief, something Steve Rogers is insanely grateful for.

There's no telling where that conversation could have ended up, and Captain America did not want to find out.

* * *

Back at Avengers Tower, Bruce Banner puts the finishing touches on his famous hot chocolate before he picks up four mugs and carries them into the common room, a can of whipped cream underneath one arm.

"Here you go, Jane and Pepper," Bruce sweetly smiles, setting two mugs down in front of the two women, adding whipped cream to Jane's but leaving it out of Pepper's cup of hot chocolate, knowing the manager of Stark Industries is not a huge fan of the white topping. "Made special for the two of you to enjoy with your books," the scientist continues, scanning the titles of the books and seeing that Jane is reading _Murder on the Orient Express_ whereas Pepper has elected to read _The Canterbury Tales_ by Geoffrey Chaucer.

"Thank you, Bruce," Pepper grins back, setting her book down before raising the glass of hot chocolate to her lips. "You make the _best_ hot chocolate out of anyone in the tower," she states, and Bruce can't help but blush slightly.

"This is _amazing,_ Dr. Banner!" Jane compliments, a dot of whipped cream finding its way to the corner of her mouth as she sips the rich and warming liquid. "Thank you for making it for me," the female scientist graciously says, feeling her body already becoming warming after only one major sip of hot chocolate.

"Well, I know you could use comfort more now than ever, Jane. What did your doctor say when you went for your appointment?" Banner inquires, moving over to sit on the couch with Natasha, handing his girlfriend her mug of hot chocolate in the process.

"The twins are doing just fine. They're both developing nicely, and the doctor says they're both big and strong as they should be at this stage of my pregnancy," Jane grins widely, placing one hand on her rounding stomach as she feels one of the twins kick from inside of her. "Of course, I think that they also get that strength from their Daddy since Thor is the God of Thunder, after all," she suggests her own hypothesis, and Bruce nods in understanding.

"Are you ever going to tell me what the sexes of the twins are?" Pepper questions with one eyebrow raised in skepticism. "It's kind of hard planning a baby shower when I don't even know whether to go with a pink or blue design," the red-headed fiancée of Tony Stark laughs, and Natasha can't help but add her own two cents in.

"Pepper, it won't help! Clint told me for months that he and Laura were having a little girl, and then it was Laura who finally told me that their third baby was going to be a baby boy named Nathaniel instead of the girl Clint promised me!" Natasha reminds, and both Pepper and Jane laugh at the Black Widow's ability to hold a grudge against her best friend and partner.

Bruce takes the can of whipped cream and squirts a bit on Natasha's nose, laughing quietly to himself as she tries to brush it off with a napkin. He then proceeds to wrap one arm behind Natasha's back, pulling the red-headed agent against his chest, using the other arm to wrap around his girlfriend's middle. Natasha leans into Bruce's embrace, beyond happy that she can have this sort of domestic bliss with a man in a way she had never thought possible prior to dating the Incredible Hulk.

"Jane, Pepper, I know you two are reading, but while the rest of the guys are out, do you want to watch _Frosty the Snowman?"_ Bruce questions, and the smiles he receives from Jane, Pepper, and Natasha are the only permission he needs to switch the TV onto the DVD player and begin the Christmas cartoon.

"Tony! We're watching _Frosty!"_ Pepper calls into the kitchen, smelling the unmistakable scent of Tony making his favorite peppermint coffee that he drinks during the Christmas season.

"You better not start it without me, Banner!" Tony shouts back, putting the finishing touches on his cup of coffee before practically _running_ into the common room, his feet clad in reindeer socks as he leaps onto the couch beside his beloved Pepper. "Hands down the best animated holiday classic in my mind."

"I think _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ deserves that title, Stark," Natasha argues, and it takes a large shushing from Pepper and Bruce to get their respective significant others to become quiet once again.

* * *

A few hours later, the guys all pile into the Avengers Tower, struggling to carry the tree into the tower without damaging the ceiling or any body parts of the people carrying the tree. Somehow, Loki had gotten away from the whole 'carrying the tree inside' mission, and so Thor, Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Peter worked their hardest to bring the tree indoors without knocking off too many excess pine needles in the process. Then came the problem with the elevator.

"Is this tree even going to fit in the elevator?" Steve inquires, looking at the hulking tree in comparison to the size of the elevator and determining that they very well could have messed up majorly.

"Hey, it was your idea and Peter's to get such a big tree," Bucky groans while trying to heave the behemoth tree into the elevator.

"I may have to Clark Griswold the tree just to get it upstairs," Clint muses aloud, and Peter's face quickly pales and becomes one of absolute shock.

"No! We can't do that!" Peter yells out in sheer horror, looking Clint directly in his eyes. "We've already cut the poor tree down; we don't need to inflict any more damage on it."

Meanwhile, Thor manages to stuff the tree completely into the elevator, and then he hits the 'up' button on the control panel to the elevator, sending the Christmas tree up to the floor with the common room on it.

"I do not know why you all thought that was an excruciating endeavor. The tree is safely on its way up to the others," Thor reveals, rubbing his massive hands together for warmth and to clear off the pine needles that had coated his hands in his battle with the tree.

"Uh, Thor? How exactly are we going to get the tree _out_ of the elevator if no one can fit inside with it?" Steve, ever the pragmatic one, asks in a worried tone of voice.

"I must admit, dear Captain, I did not plan that far in my endeavor," the God of Thunder admits, a sheepish smile on his face.

Bucky and Clint cannot resist the urge to facepalm.

* * *

When the elevator dings in the common room at the end of the third Christmas special the rest of the Avengers were watching, all of them expect for the guys to loudly exit the elevator speaking about how lovely the tree is. What they hadn't expected was that the tree would be in the elevator by itself, protruding from all sides and looking impossibly large and looming in the regular-sized elevator.

"This has Thor written all over it," Jane comments, knowing that such an action suits her blonde-headed husband more than he may like to admit about his tendency to only see one step ahead of his plans.

"Pepper, can you be a darling and retrieve my suit from the lab? This is going to require some heavy lifting," Tony remarks, a scowl on his face as he wonders how on Earth he and Bruce are going to be able to pull this gargantuan tree out of the only elevator of Avengers Tower. "Bruce, a little help?" he asks, and Bruce Banner gets to his feet faster than Tony can blink, prepared to help his fellow genius get the tree from the elevator.

"We might have to call on the other guy if the suit plus my human strength aren't enough," Bruce admits, shuddering at the idea of bringing the Incredible Hulk out around Christmas, but knowing it might need to be a very real possibility if he and Tony can't use their brains to figure out this challenging conundrum.

"Banner, you're forgetting something huge. We have Mister Capsicle Super Soldier, Bucky Barnes, Agent Strong Man Barton, the God of Thunder himself, _AND_ the God of Mischief as extra muscle if we can't do this ourselves! Only, the have the distinct pleasure of having to climb nearly ten flights of stairs to help us if we fail," Tony laughs, and Bruce can't help but smirk.

"On three, Tony. One, two, three, pull!" Bruce shouts out, putting all of his strength into trying to wedge the tree out of its current prison.

* * *

By the time Clint, Thor, Steve, Bucky, and Peter arrive upstairs, the situation has escalated incredibly. Tony has the Iron Man suit on and is powered up to full throttle, pulling backwards with all the might possible while Bruce looks like he is on the very verge of becoming the Hulk. Natasha and Pepper are at opposite sides of the tree, trying to wiggle into the elevator while pulling on the tree, but to no avail. Suddenly, a golden light blinds nearly everyone in the tower, and when the light fades away, the tree is standing upright to the immediate left of the fireplace, looking no less worse for wear than it did when the men first cut it down in the forest.

"Surprise!" Loki says in a sing-song voice, appearing beside Jane and looking for all the world like a kid who tried to do something to get his parents to notice him.

"You couldn't have done that earlier?" Tony groans out, collapsing onto the floor in his Iron Man suit, opening to helmet to allow himself to breathe more clearly.

"It was much more fun for me to watch you all suffering for nearly an hour," Loki grins widely, sitting on the couch next to Jane, offering her a box of chocolates he had found in the kitchen.

"The threat still stands, Loki," Bruce whispers under his breath, but the God of Mischief's sensitive hearing picks up every word.

With that, Peter, Pepper, Clint, and Steve walk into the adjourning room to retrieve the massive boxes of Christmas decorations that Tony ordered upon Peter Parker's request.

* * *

Decorating the tree goes better than anyone would have thought. Even with all of those sets of hands on the tree at once, no one bumps into one another, and no ornaments are broken in the process. Steve is tasked with wrapping the garland around the tree after Tony is finished detangling and assembling the string of Christmas lights in a pattern that would minimize the pain that could be caused by looking at the multi-colored bulbs for an extended period of time.

"Ya know, we could've gotten a synthetic Christmas tree that came with lights where I wouldn't have to spend so much unnecessary time untangling and re-wiring these old lights," Tony groans out, nearly wanting to smash the lights against the floor as he comes across the twentieth knot he has encountered in only the first two strings of lights.

"Where's the fun in that, Stark?" Clint questions with a smirk on his lips as he places the Eeyore ornament on the Christmas tree. "It's not Christmas till somebody's covered in lights!"

"Then perhaps Christmas doesn't need to come this year," Tony mumbles, finally managing to work out the kinks in the rather infuriating strand of lights.

"Tony, remember why we celebrate Christmas," Pepper whispers, pressing a kiss to her fiancé's cheek, taking the completed strand of lights from him where they don't get tangled up once more. "And, remember, we're doing all of this for Peter," she says in a soft tone of voice, and a smile crosses Tony's lips as he watches Peter bounce animatedly around the tree to try and find the perfect spot for his favorite _Star Wars_ ornament.

"That's a good enough reason for me," Tony grins, capturing Pepper's lips in his own as he breathes in the scent of hot chocolate that envelopes his one true love.

"Young Master Parker, where shall I place King Mufasa on the tree?" Thor asks in the cutest tone of voice imaginable, and Jane can't help but sigh lovingly as she watches her husband interact with the teenager much like a father would.

"Your Daddy is one of the best people I've ever met. He's going to be a great father to you two," Jane whispers to her unborn twins, rubbing one hand across her stomach before placing the Scooby Doo ornament across the way from Snoopy on the tree. "I have no doubts about it."

Bucky gets absolutely excited to hang the ninja ornaments Peter had found on the tree, making sure that the weapons were placed conveniently to make a battle scene between some of the character ornaments, such as between the ornaments of the Power Rangers and the Disney villains. Loki mostly sticks to the sidelines, hanging up the solid color Christmas balls that come in red, green, silver, or gold, and he must be doing a good job, because no one tells him otherwise. Even the God of Mischief has to admit that this is a rather relaxing tradition, especially with Bing Crosby's Christmas CD playing on the stereo while the Avengers decorate the tree to perfection.

"Peter, I think you should do the honors," Clint speaks up, producing the star from the box of ornaments and bringing it over to the young man. "The youngest member of my family always gets to put the star on the top of the tree. Would you like to carry on that Barton tradition since my kids aren't here yet?" Hawkeye questions with a genuine love shining on his face for the youngest Avenger.

"Of course! I'd be honored to put the star on the tree!" Peter beams, so much excitement contained on his face in one expression. "But, there's no way I'm tall enough to reach the top of the tree," he trails off sadly, disappointment shining in his eyes.

"Then allow me to help you," Thor grins, gently scooping the Midgardian high schooler into his arms and then placing Peter Parker to where the teen is now standing on the God of Thunder's shoulders. "Does that help you, Peter Parker?" he inquires, and Peter cannot help but laugh.

"Thank you, Thor! That's _perfect_!" Peter happily shouts, settling the star on the top branch, making sure it is absolutely straight before allowing Thor to lower him back down to the ground.

* * *

"Well, what do ya know? It actually does look pretty nice," Natasha quirks her lips in a smile, not at all expecting that a Christmas tree with mismatched ornaments from different movies and different generations could fit together so seamlessly.

"I think this is going to be the best Christmas ever spent in this tower, Tony," Pepper sighs happily, lacing her hands with her fiancé's, looking as if she doesn't have a care in the world.

"I couldn't agree more, honey," Tony whispers, starting to hum _I'll Be Home for Christmas_ quietly so as not to disturb the scene of familial love in front of him as Peter begins to set up a board game for himself, Bruce, Natasha, Jane, Thor, and Loki to play while Steve and Bucky play Mario Kart with Clint on the Wii.

For once in the lives of the Avengers, everything was going right, and Anthony Edward Stark would do everything in his power to assure that this Christmas would not be ruined for the people he cares about the most.

* * *

 **Author's Note: And there's Chapter Two! I have no idea why I didn't write the Author's Note for this chapter earlier, but I'm inspired now to write Chapter Three, and I really want to try and finish as many of the twelve chapters as possible for my amazing Secret Santa Rival Argentica! I hope you all enjoyed; as always, reviews are greatly appreciated! This has been my favorite of the two chapters so far, as I'm sure you can tell by the word count. Almost 2,000 more words! Anyway, thanks for reading, and have an amazing day, afternoon, or night. I'm off to start Chapter Three!**


	3. Shopping

**No Place Like Home for the Holidays**

 _Chapter Three: Shopping_

 **Disclaimer: Once again, nothing belongs to me. The characters belong to Marvel and the songs belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

It is now December 8th, precisely one week after Peter and the Avengers set up the Christmas tree in Avengers Tower. Peter is just now arriving back at the tower, because he did still have to go to school, regardless of Mr. Stark's insistence that he could get the boy out of school for break nearly a month earlier than the other kids if the young Spiderman said the word. Peter, true to his own morals, refused such an advantage, stating that he had homework to do and semester exams to study for that he couldn't possibly miss, lest he wind up in trouble with his teachers and principal. So, until the week of December 16th, Peter would only be able to come "home" to the Tower over the weekend and receive a flying escort back home to Aunt May from either Thor or Tony Stark where he would be home at a decent hour to get a good night's sleep before Monday morning. Of course, Peter told Aunt May that he was working on the Stark Internship, not that he was helping the Avengers prepare to have an amazing Christmas as a family, albeit a slightly dysfunctional one. Such a case presents itself now.

"I don't wanna ride to the mall in a car with Capsicle and Experiment 626 over here!" Tony whines, causing Pepper to roll her eyes as she sits in her car, barely resisting the urge to bang her own head against the steering wheel in frustration.

"Tony, please just get in the car," Pepper drags out, her head already pounding as she just dreads seeing the behavior the Avengers will have in the mall, especially her expressive fiancé by the name of Tony Stark. "We have to get to the mall now; you know how little time Peter has to spend with us," the CEO of Stark Industries reminds, and the happy teenager pokes his head up from the backseat where he was scrolling through his phone, showing Bucky archived pictures of Rockefeller Center on Christmas Eve from the past decade, much to the Winter Soldier's enjoyment.

"Yeah, Mr. Stark! All we're doing is riding to the mall together! It's not like you and Captain America have to stick by each other's sides the _whole_ time once we're there!" Peter reminds, his cheerful voice matching the absolutely infectious grin playing at his lips.

 _'_ _Bless Peter Parker,'_ Pepper thinks, loving the kid even more as time goes on, something she didn't think would be entirely possible with how much she adored him when Tony first introduced them about a year and a half ago.

"Fine by me," Steve mutters under his breath, and Pepper can't help but let out a snort of laughter.

"Fine, fine, _fine_. I will ride in the same car as the man who single-handedly tried to rip the Avengers apart in the first place with an absolutely _stupid_ civil war," Tony sighs, sliding into the passenger seat, fixing Pepper with a look that simply begged to be put out of his misery in being roped into going Christmas shopping with the Avengers, Loki, Bucky, Jane, and Peter.

He wouldn't have minded going Christmas shopping with _just Pepper_ , after all. That might have _actually_ been fun for the genius playboy.

"Hey, if I remember correctly, it takes _two sides_ to fight a war, Stark! It's my advantage you don't have the suit on where I can kick the…" Steve trails off, gritting his teeth in the backseat, making Peter stiffen between Steve and Bucky.

"Threat! Verbal threat!" Tony shouts out in the most dramatic voice Pepper has ever heard him use before, and it almost makes her run her car straight into the bumper of Clint's vehicle, something she would rather avoid, thank you very much, Iron Man.

"Can we _please_ not fight this close to Christmas?!" Peter shouts, and soon enough, the whole car quiets down, much to Pepper's and Bucky's appreciation.

With that, Pepper turns on the radio, softly singing the words to Bing Crosby's "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas", a song which Tony, Steve, and Peter are all too happy to join in singing. Bucky just smirks at the scene before looking out the car window at all of the Christmas displays the car passes on the way to the mall.

* * *

When Clint's car- filled with himself, Jane, Thor, and Loki- shows up, Bruce is speaking in hushed tones to Steve while Natasha exits Bruce's car and comes to chat excitedly to Pepper and Jane about the strategy and how the three of them are going to manage having such a vast quantity of men who seem to like to butt heads almost constantly.

"I mean, we can't let a group of just these testosterone-filled soldiers go off on their own," Natasha quips, gesturing behind her as Thor and Loki get into a shoving match as they both try and tell their sides of the same story during the time of Ragnarok.

"Especially not when Thor and Loki still haven't put all of their differences behind them," Jane sighs, wrapping Thor's coat tighter around her body to keep out the frigid wind. "Though, if you ask me, nothing will get them to put their past grudges aside," the astronomer chuckles, then stopping suddenly as the twins get into a kicking match within her stomach. "You two better not be like your Daddy and Uncle Loki, got it? I can only deal with one set of feuding siblings at a time," she whispers lovingly to her unborn children, smiling as she casts a glance in Thor's direction, seeing her husband talking with Peter Parker and making the teenager smile.

"I think we need to split up. Jane, you can take Thor, Loki, and Peter, since you can control your husband and brother-in-law better than anyone else could ever dream to," Pepper suggests, trying her best to suppress the headache that threatens to consume her from the boisterous ride to the mall in the company of Tony, Bucky, Peter, and Steve. "Peter can act as a barrier of sorts, since he seems to be the only person other than Jane that Loki actually tolerates. Natasha, I think you should take Steve, Bucky, and Clint with you; that way I'll only have to handle Bruce and Tony, and at least the two of them have science they bond over so they hardly get into any real scuffles while Dr. Banner is still himself," the CEO of Stark Industries compromises, and Jane and Natasha can't help but agree that Pepper Potts makes an extremely sound point.

"Sounds like a plan, Pepper! Where would these boys be without us?" Natasha inquires, a smile on her lips as she thinks of the number of times she has had to save or give cover to the Avengers.

"At each other's throats," Jane deadpans, thinking of all the men in general, but thinking of Thor and Loki in addition to Steve and Tony as the main examples.

"Lost in despair," Bruce softly says as he comes up behind the women, his arms encircling Natasha's waist as he rests his chin on her shoulder. "Are you ready to go shopping, my dear?" he murmurs, and Natasha practically melts into his touch, thankful every day for the man that saved her from the darkness that threatened to consume her.

Natasha takes Bruce's hand in her own, and they walk towards the front doors of the mall, smiling like one would expect from a non-superhero couple, and it feels amazing to just be normal in the public sphere, even if only for a single day. Thor loops his arm around Jane's, smiles on both of their faces as Thor animatedly asks questions about the traditions of Christmas shopping, Loki trailing behind them like a lost and confused child. Meanwhile, Pepper forcefully tugs Tony away from Steve and Bucky, lest Iron Man and Captain America get into yet _another_ argument, this time in public. It is going to be a _long and arduous_ day, of that Pepper Potts is sure.

* * *

Upon entering the food court and deciding on a time to meet back up to go home, the groups begin to split up. Unbeknownst to anyone else, Steve and Bruce share a wink behind Natasha's back, and no one is none the wiser as to the message encoded within that wink.

"Call if you need anything," Natasha then whispers to Bruce, smiling a bit as he strokes one of his hands through her fiery red hair.

"I will," Bruce assures, closing the distance between the two of them where Natasha is chest-to-chest with him.

"Call if you think this is too much stimulation for you and you feel that…"

"I won't. I won't turn green, Natasha. I promise. After all, I have Christmas shopping to do for a special someone today."

Making a quick signal to Steve over Natasha's shoulder before pulling away, Bruce takes Natasha's hands in his own and gives them a light squeeze.

"I'll see you later, Nat."

"Hey, Natasha!" Steve happily says, coming up and standing beside Black Widow, a grin appearing on his lips. "Didn't you promise that you would tell Bucky and me all about the Apple store the next time we came to the mall?" the super soldier inquires, going along with Bruce's plot perfectly.

"Well, Steve I'm sure I could tell you all about…" Natasha begins as she, Steve, and Bucky begin to head their separate way from the crowd.

"I mean, that is if it's no great trouble," Steve warmly says, his gentlemanly manner not going unnoticed by one of the world's top spies.

"Of course not, Steve," Nat assures, casting a glance over her shoulder to make sure that Bucky is following her as well, not wanting the Winter Soldier to get lost in the mall. "You coming, Clint?"

"Right behind ya, Nat," Clint assures, taking a bite of the cinnamon roll he purchased from the baked goods shop across the food court where the Avengers are currently gathered.

"Come on, Thor and Loki! I have so much to teach you about Christmas shopping!" Peter grins, acting all the world like an excited child who gets to help shop for the first time.

Jane smiles after the teenager, and she sets off after Peter, Thor and Loki not far behind her, confused yet slightly amused expressions on their faces.

* * *

Pepper cannot help but laugh at her fiancé's antics as they wander through a department store, looking at all the possible gifts that they could get for their friends turned family in Avengers Tower.

"I don't know what it is, but I want to try it!" Tony suddenly shouts, careening over to a display rack that has games of all types: board games, video games, card games, you name it.

"Honey, why are you looking at a game called 'Game Night in a Can'?" Pepper inquires with a laugh and a smile gracing her lips, totally relaxed in the domesticity involved in Christmas shopping with Tony.

She had to hand it to Peter; the young Spiderman has done a lot to help Tony come out of his shell during the holidays, as Iron Man has vowed to spend the holidays with his young prodigy in a way that Howard Stark never did during Tony's childhood.

"Because, Pep, it just _screams_ Avengers Tower to me!" Tony answers back, pulling the can from the shelf and examining the contents. "On second thought, _this_ is what I really want to get the team as an early Christmas gift to everyone!" the genius smirks, pulling a board game off the shelf and brandishing it to Pepper with a fiendish smirk on his face.

"Monopoly: Cheater's Edition?" Pepper reads the front of the box, mentally facepalming as she realizes just _why_ Tony would want _this_ particular game. "I would ask why you want that game, Tony, but I'm afraid I already know the answer to that," the CEO of Stark Industries sighs, taking Tony's hand in her own as she makes her true love continue through the store before he buys every game on the display.

"Cap _loves_ Monopoly! So, I get a new version of Monopoly that he has to form a completely new strategy for where maybe I can bankrupt him in the first five rounds like I do with Clint and Thor. Plus, it'll give us a chance to try and uncover Capsicle's dark side, because he just _has_ to have one, babe!" he reveals, brandishing his arms, an action which makes Pepper instinctively reach for the game, knowing that Tony would probably drop it in favor of running off to another side of the store to see another display. "Loki is a full-tilt diva, right?" Tony inquires, moving over to another section in the store before holding up a plastic diamond tiara that comes with other props that a child may wear as part of a fairy princess costume.

"Not _that_ extreme," Pepper giggles, and Tony's heart soars at the sound of such carefree laughter from his soon-to-be wife. "I'm sure we'll find him a proper diva present, Tony, but _not_ a plastic tiara from the children's department," she says, pulling Tony towards the perfume counter. "I want you to pick out some cologne that you like, because even when I tell you we're going out to dinner together, you still smell like motor oil. And, you can't say that it isn't a Christmas present, because nearly every year for my birthday and Christmas you always told me to just pick out my own gift and charge it to your card."

"I wouldn't have said anything of the sort," Tony promises, love shining in his dark brown eyes as he wraps an arm around Pepper's lips before soundlessly kissing her on the mouth, a gesture which Pepper happily reciprocates. "And I was a fool for not taking the time to buy your presents years ago. Though, I must say that I enjoyed that little blue number you bought yourself in 2008."

Pepper hums in agreement before holding up a cologne to her nose and then passing the bottle to Tony to get his opinion on the scent.

* * *

Walking back to the spot where he left Loki and Peter nearly twenty minutes ago while Jane had gone off in search of the bathroom, Thor glances around in a frenzy, not seeing the teenager anywhere. Being careful not to spill his armful of hot chocolate, Thor knocks his shoulder into Loki's body.

"Loki," Thor practically growls, getting in front of his brother to look the God of Mischief in the eyes. "Where, pray tell, is Peter?" the heir to the Asgardian throne demands through gritted teeth.

"How should I know, brother?" Loki inquires, looking back down at the shopping catalogue Peter had given him at the start of the morning.

"Maybe because I _asked_ you to keep an eye on him, Loki!" the God of Thunder roars, still managing to keep the hot chocolate from spilling. "I distinctly remember saying 'Loki, please watch over young Peter Parker whilst I procure us the beverage of Christmas before Jane's return!'" he reminds.

Loki pointedly looks up from the catalogue.

"I didn't think you were _actually_ serious about that, Thor!" Loki scoffs, not knowing why he is being blamed for the Midgardian teenager's sudden disappearance.

"Of course I was serious!" Thor angrily shouts, his voice booming, causing many shoppers to flinch at the mere sound, but not Loki. "After the scare we had with Peter during the Infinity War against Thanos, we vowed to never let him out of our sight again, lest we lose the boy forever to the darkness that threatens to devour him!" the Asgardian God of Thunder reminds.

"Well, _I_ certainly didn't promise such fantastical nonsense," the God of Mischief argues, crossing his arms over his chest. "You surely know war has casualties, brother. If he is to be one…"

" _Enough!_ Peter Parker **_will not_** be sacrificed for any greater good, not in my lifetime!" Thor passionately speaks, his uncle-like love for the young Spiderman driving him forward. "He is young, bright, and optimistic for the world. It is not the young Master Parker's fault the world is full of hate, darkness, and forces of evil that will stop at nothing to smother whatever light remains. _That_ is why I fight, Loki. I fight where the good, innocent people won't have to!"

"Wow, Thor! I-I can't believe it! That was so nice of you!" Peter's voice suddenly chirrups, and before the Asgardian King can process what is happening, Peter launches himself at the God of Thunder. "Thank you! You're going to be an _incredible_ Dad to your and Jane's twins; I just know it!" the young Spiderman reveals, wrapping his arms around Thor and giving him a tight hug of appreciation.

Thankfully, Loki uses his magic to levitate the cups of hot chocolate that came flying out of Thor's arms when Peter rushed at him. No hot chocolate was spilled in the process.

"There are not many people who can sneak up on me. I am _very_ impressed, Peter," Loki compliments, and Peter Parker beams at the praise from one of the hardest to please members living in Avengers Tower.

"And not many can evade my detection. Where did you run off to?" Thor asks, thoroughly impressed by the boy's skills of evasion.

"I went to buy your Christmas gift, Thor!" Peter reveals, hiding the bag against his chest so Thor won't see the name of the store, not that the God of Thunder would even know what that specific store sells. "Don't worry, Loki; I ordered your present online about a week ago, so it should be here in plenty of time for Christmas!" Peter beams, and Loki cannot help the unknown feeling that courses through his heart upon hearing the young man say such a thing.

Such an emotion may be called fondness, or it could even be called appreciation, neither of which Loki can identify for certain within his own body. Taking a look at the scene around him, Loki loaded down with hot chocolate cups and Thor clothed in flannel with jeans and a blue scarf, Peter Parker gets one of the best ideas he feels he has ever had.

* * *

"This is going on Facebook!" Peter chirrups, holding his phone up to where he can take a picture of himself, Thor, and Loki in front of the mall's giant Christmas tree. "Smile!" he instructs, and Thor handsomely smiles whereas Loki simply scowls in the corner of the picture, disapproval and boredom written on his face. "This is perfect! I love it!" Peter grins, running off towards Pepper and Tony, brandishing his shopping bags and looking very proud of himself.

"You are never going to be left alone with Peter, let alone mine and Jane's children, brother. Do I make myself clear?" Thor quietly threatens under his breath, concern present in his voice. "Because if you lost a nearly sixteen-year-old Midgardian who is a superhero, I can only imagine what would happen if you were alone with my children. And I _shall not_ have you ruin my chances of being what Clint likes to call 'Father of the Year'," the God of Thunder continues, abandoning his spot next to Loki to prepare to walk towards Jane, swiping two cups of hot chocolate from Loki in the process.

"Crystal. Though, after the rather _annoying_ sense of concern I felt for Peter after I could not find him, I do not believe I would want to try and watch _twin_ Asgardians that happen to be the offspring of Thor," Loki remarks, truly believing that he could make a fine uncle to Thor and Jane's twins once they arrive in this world, but he would never want to risk such precious lives within his care.

What makes Loki smile as he trails behind the others on the trek through the parking lot is the thought of his Christmas gift to Jane that would prove he could be a competent, loving, and responsible uncle to the twins who are set to arrive in March.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Not much to say for this chapter since it's significantly shorter, but it is both a necessary filler chapter where later events will make sense in the story, and I really wanted to focus on how much Peter brings the team together. Even if it's just Thor fluff where he practices his skills he will need as a father in the next coming months once the twins are born. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter just the same, and as always, reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated. Have an amazing day, afternoon, or evening! Now I'm off to write the next chapter, because Rival Argentica and I have promised to complete as much of our Secret Santa fics as possible by December 23** **rd** **! See you in the next chapter, dear readers!**


	4. Snowball Fight!

**No Place Like Home for the Holidays**

 _Chapter Four: Snowball Fight!_

 **Disclaimer: Once again, nothing belongs to me. The characters belong to Marvel and the songs belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

On the weekend of December 15th, Peter returns back to Avengers Tower, surprised to be greeted by three feet of pure, untouched snow. With a smile as infectious as the flu on his lips, Peter jumps into the elevator, riding up to the common room, a secret in his mind and a feeling of peace and love in his heart. Upon entering the common room, Peter's smile is matched by smiles from his surrogate family, and the boy's excitement carries through the Avengers, Loki, Jane, and Pepper.

(Okay, so maybe _excitement_ isn't the right word for Loki, but he is still managing to look happy to see the boy, at least, which is more than can be said about when Loki sees other members of the Avengers.)

"It's snowing!" Peter cheerfully shouts, a red knit hat atop his head and blue gloves covering his hands to combat against the winter weather. "This is the most snow I've seen in years! We've gotta go play in it!" he continues in an excited tone of voice, bouncing around the room on the soles of his feet, making Pepper smile at the excitable teenager. "Mr. Stark! Can we, can we, can we?!" Peter asks for permission in a way that seems almost childlike, and it is one of the infinite times that the CEO of Stark Industries can see the father and son bond between two of her favorite people in the entire galaxy.

"Sure, kid. We can go play in the snow if you so desire," Tony begins, and Peter begins to speak before Iron Man is even finished, just so excited that _Tony Stark_ agreed to something so trivial and domestic as _playing in the snow_ with a teenager and a bunch of other adults that includes two Asgardians, two master assassins, the Incredible Hulk, the CEO of Stark Industries, and two World War II veterans that had both been experimented on, one for the greater good and one for pure evil.

"Yes! You won't regret this, Mr. Stark! I can just see how much fun we'll have when-"

"If…. And I mean _only if_ you help make Christmas cookies when we come back from the park, Peter. Thor and Steve have been wanting to make homemade cookies since you left last Sunday, but Bruce, Jane, and Pepper wanted to wait for you, Spiderling."

"Deal!" Peter shouts, running towards the elevator, whooping in excitement at the prospect of playing in the snow with the Avengers. "I hope someone has a sled we can use!"

"Put on extra layers of clothes first before you go outside!" Steve calls after the teenager while Captain America lifts himself off the couch and walks over to the coat rack to grab his winter apparel. "You'll catch your death out there otherwise!" he cautions, and when he looks over at the couch, Tony is smugly staring at him. "What, Stark?"

"Thanks for the public service announcement, Dad," Tony deadpans, and it takes all the self-discipline Steve has not to wrap his hands around Tony Stark's neck and throttle him for his deprecating jokes.

It's not Steve's fault that he was frozen in the ice for 75 years and still acts as if he is still in the 1940s.

"Let's just get outside before Peter hurts himself trying to do a backflip down the stairs or something similar," Captain America sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before following Natasha and Clint to the elevator.

"I'll drive the largest group of us to the park in my car," Clint offers, grabbing his car keys from the bowl on the coffee table before slipping a pair of black gloves on over his calloused hands.

Filing out of the Avengers Tower, everyone wears a smile on his or her face as the prospects of playing in the snow like a family dance in everyone's head.

* * *

Reaching Central Park, the Avengers are the only ones in attendance, a very surprising fact given that it is the weekend and most kids would rather spontaneously combust than miss a snow day like this.

"Are we picking teams?" Peter asks excitedly, tromping through the snow in his goulashes, resulting in snow splattering against Bucky's coat as the Winter Soldier follows behind the teenage boy. "Because I think that's the best way to start off a snowball fight!" he continues to speak, and it is, frankly, beginning to grate on Loki's last nerves as Peter and Natasha go back and forth picking teams.

So, what does the God of Mischief do? Well, Loki scoops up a mound of crystal white snow in his hands, mashes it into a ball, and then holds the newly formed snowball up to his lips. With a devilish smirk, Loki blows on the snowball, using his magic to crystalize ice inside of the snowball, guaranteeing that this particular snowball will have a harder impact than regular snow. With the same devilish smirk still spread on his lips, Loki stretches his arm backwards as far as possible, building up a vast amount of potential energy before releasing the snowball at a break-neck speed. The snowball hurtles through the sky, avoiding the gaze of everyone in the Avengers family as they continue picking teams. Upon descending towards the ground, the icy snowball forcefully smacks Thor in the back of his head and neck, shattering the ice shards and allowing the frozen precipitation to run down his neck and into his winter coat.

"Okay! Who threw that?" Thor demands, a slightly amused look on his face as he wipes snow out of his blonde hair, blue eyes sparkling with mirth. "I did not believe we were starting this snow war yet, and so I am upset I did not get to make the first strike," he announces in a teasing tone, knowing that his team should surely let him come up with their strategy since he was, after all, commander of the armies of Asgard.

"Well, it wasn't the legendary Hawkeye, brother," Loki jokes with his wry sense of humor, earning him a slight shove from Clint as the master of the bow and arrow gets into position behind a snow bank.

Rearing his arm backwards after collecting a magnificent mound of snow, Thor chucks the armful of snow at Clint Barton as the man stands up from behind the snowbank, effectively knocking the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent forward onto his face where Clint is now lying face-first in the snow bank he chose to protect him. After Clint goes down, Peter launches one of his own snowballs across the giant field, striking Natasha in the leg, sending the Russian spy tumbling down over Clint's outstretched legs until the red-headed Avenger is now sitting flat on her bottom in the middle of the snow bank.

"You're going to pay for that one, Peter Parker!" she jokingly yells at the boy, standing back up almost immediately before she begins to form an arsenal of snowballs for her and Clint to share and annihilate their competition.

* * *

Team Peter consisted of Peter, Thor, Tony, Pepper, and Bruce whereas Natasha picked Clint, Steve, Bucky, and Loki was chosen last since Jane was going to sit this one out, not wanting to endanger her unborn children by falling on her stomach at this stage in her pregnancy.

"Tony Stark, no fair!" Steve shouts from across the field as a rather large snowball connects with his chest, product of the genius playboy's well-aimed attack on the super soldier.

"You struck first, Capsicle!" Tony argues, pointing to his snow-stained sweatshirt as proof of Steve Rogers' earlier attack when he hurled a snowball at Tony's neck not more than three minutes prior.

Meanwhile, Pepper and Bucky exchange blows, Bucky smashing a snowball into the CEO's hair as he sprints by whereas Pepper launches a snowball at Bucky's face as he turns and runs back towards the disheveled base of a snow bank where Natasha and Clint are supplying an arsenal of sub-zero weapons.

* * *

Peter covers his face, deflecting a snowball thrown by Natasha, and the young man whoops in celebration before he crouches behind Thor in order to make his own small supply of snowballs to pelt the other team with.

"Okay! Who needs ammo?" Clint shouts over the roaring wind and shouts of excitement and adrenaline coming from the rest of the Avengers family. "I've got a bunch made up over here, team!" he reminds before dodging an attack from Thor and then promptly returning fire on the God of Thunder as Thor takes a running start towards the other team.

Lining up his shot perfectly, the snowball smacks Thor in the chest, slowing the Asgardian King down for approximately five seconds as he re-groups and accepts a snowball from Bruce's outstretched hand as the scientist calculates the approximate distance and speed he needs to utilize to hit Natasha with the upmost skill and also softness at the same time. Thor catapults a speeding snowball at Clint, but the master spy flips off the snow bank before he proceeds to climb a tree, using the height to his advantage. Hawkeye then begins to pelt Pepper and Tony from his new vantage point, covering Pepper's hair entirely in snow and peppering Tony's hair with white specks, as most of the snow ends up on Tony Stark's shoulders.

* * *

Out of nowhere, a snowball comes flying from the other side of the field, hitting Loki in the face, stunning all of the Avengers and Co. as they wonder who on Midgard would have the audacity to assault the God of Mischief.

"Ooooh! Someone hit Loki!" Peter shouts, his tone of voice reminiscent of a school child when a peer gets into trouble for doing something stupid.

"Who hit Loki?" Bruce inquires, concern present on his face as he finishes tossing a snowball at Steve, the frozen precipitation crashing roughly against Steve's coat, sending the Super Soldier staggering a few steps backwards.

"Thor, was that you?" Loki practically demands, spinning around to face his brother, wondering if his adopted sibling would retaliate against him from his stunt earlier.

"Not I, brother," Thor honestly remarks. "I have been helping the young Master Parker collect an arsenal of snowballs to try and get Hawkeye out of that tree," the God of Thunder explains, and both Thor and Peter hold up the mentioned arsenal of snowballs as proof of his statement.

"Then who threw the snowball?" Pepper asks, knowing that neither she nor Tony had thrown the snowball at Loki, because the two of them had been too busy cornering Bucky against a snow bank and then pelting him with as much snow as they possibly could before the Winter Soldier rolled away.

"I did," Jane announces, bouncing another snowball between both her hands, a wide smile gracing her lips as she takes in the shocked faces of all the Avengers. "You didn't think I was going to miss out on all of the fun, did you?" she laughs, and then the next snowball she throws connects with Natasha's forearm, making the assassin drop the armload of snowballs she was bringing over to Clint's tree.

"I should have known it was you, dearest Jane," Loki grins, actually _grins_ so wide he shows his teeth to his sister-in-law. "After all, it felt like the slap you gave me in Asgard years ago," the God of Mischief laughs, and everyone in the field agrees that hearing Loki laugh is one of the most unnatural and rarely occurring sounds in the world.

"Well, like they say in the song, 'a kiss with a fist is better than none'!" Jane laughs, scooping another snowball into her hands using the snow from a lamppost next to her.

"Indeed! Now then, I must insist that you help me in my mission to battle your husband," Loki offers, coming over to Jane and holding his arm out to her in the fashion of a true gentleman.

"Just this once I will join you in battling against my husband, Loki."

"I would expect nothing more of you, Jane."

With that, Jane and Loki walk arm-in-arm to a safe location, Loki bending over to form the snowballs for himself while using magic to supply Jane with snowballs when she runs out of snow on the lampposts. Thor cannot help but smile at seeing his loving wife and mischievous brother getting along so well, even if it means that they are going to battle him together. He would gladly take all of the snowball assaults from the two people he loves most in all the realms.

* * *

When the snowball fight is about to draw to a close nearly two hours later, Peter finally manages to get the upper hand on Loki when the young Spiderman trips on the snow and crashes into the God of Mischief, knocking the raven-haired Asgardian on his back.

"I got ya, kid!" Tony shouts, running over and helping Peter by holding Loki down by the arms, wanting Peter to get his chance to crash a snowball into Loki's face.

Peter hesitates, knowing that Loki could easily just use his magic to teleport away, in addition to fearing the retaliation that the Asgardian God of Mischief could use on him.

"What are you waiting for, Spiderman?" Loki asks, a sincere grin on his face as he looks at the youngest member of the Avengers family. "You have your adversary caught in a trap. Finish the job," he gently instructs like one might do to a child, and it makes Peter smile.

Loki would make such a patient teacher with Thor and Jane's children.

"You promise you won't get angry with me?" Peter whispers, not wanting to embarrass Loki in front of Tony.

"Of course I won't get angry, Peter," Loki assures, an even tone in his voice. This snowball fight is all in good fun. Thor and I used to have them when we were children on Asgard, and I assure you, we never were angry at one another for pulling stunts like this."

Peter takes the chance to slam the snowball into Loki's face, bits of snow sticking to the God of Mischief's nose, but he could not care less. If Thor had been the one wanting to smash a snowball into his face, Loki would have used his magic to teleport far away, but Loki thoroughly enjoys the company of Peter Parker, especially because the young Spiderman always considers others' emotions and wants to include everyone in anything he is planning on doing. And _that_ is precisely why Loki enjoys spending time with Peter; the teenager always wanted to look past Loki's flaws and accept him for the way he truly is, pranks, mischief, and dark side in all.

* * *

Just as the eleven members of Avengers Tower prepare to return back to the car, Peter reminds the team that they haven't gotten to go sledding yet, and it's been _years_ since he's gotten to sled down a major hill.

"Well, kid, I hate to break it to ya, but no one brought a sled," Tony reveals, thinking of the lack of sledding equipment at Avengers Tower since most of the year only adults live there anyway.

"But I know Captain brought his shield!" Peter remembers seeing the famed red, white, and blue shield lying in the very backseat of Clint's car. "We could sled on that!" he suggests, jumping in the air in excitement. "I bet it'll get way better speed than a regular sled!"

"Now, Peter, I'm not so sure that's the wisest idea. The vibranium may not necessarily…" Bruce starts to caution, but as soon as the scientist begins to talk, Loki vanishes for exactly 2.9 seconds before reappearing with Cap's shield in hand.

"Your sled, little spider," Loki says, handing Steve's shield to the teenager.

"Thanks, Loki! You're the best!" Peter graciously remarks, preparing to sit down on the rounded vibranium and break his own sledding record.

Steve steps on the corner of his shield, holding it securely down on the ground with his heavy black boots.

"I better try this first and see how it works, Peter," Steve remarks, a hint of fear shuddering through his body as he thinks of all the way such a sledding experience could go wrong.

"Be careful, Steve!" Bruce cautions the Super Soldier, practically reading Pepper's mind about the situation.

"Nothing to worry about, Banner! Ol' Steve's done more impossible stunts in his life," Bucky reminds, a smile on his face as he watches Steve switch places with Peter to where the young man is now standing behind a sitting Captain America. "Ya need a push, buddy?"

"Sure, Bucky," Steve admits, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Going for a new record in sledding down the hill in Central Park is Steve 'Captain America' Rogers from Brooklyn, New York!" Captain America announces in his best sports commentator voice. "Remember, everyone, do not try this without supervision, because I _am_ a professional," Steve jokes, and Tony scoffs in utter disdain, knowing that the joke is probably older than Steve Rogers himself.

With a small push from Bucky to get him started, Steve rushes down the hill, looking for all the world like Clark Griswold, and the World War II veteran must put every last ounce of strength into trying to keep the shield-turned-sled from crashing into the bark of the dozens of trees in his path. Returning to the whooping calls from the Avengers, Steve offers the shield to anyone else who wants a turn, but he tells Peter that he is not to go down the hill by himself, so Tony ends up riding behind Peter on the sled, protecting and guiding him in a fatherly manner to help keep the neighborhood Spiderman safe and, more importantly, alive.

* * *

After everyone has a turn on the sled, with the exception of Jane, the Avengers return back to their cars, piling in with Pepper and Natasha offering to drive the two teams of cars home. Loki, Jane, and Thor sit in the middle row of seats in Clint's car, the boys' heads slumped over and Thor's finding its way to Jane's right shoulder whereas Loki's head slumps forward before he snaps it back upright while remaining asleep. Clint sits in the passenger sit, his feet nearly reaching the dashboard as he allows himself to slip into blissful sleep, an empty candy cane wrapper clenched in one hand and a small throw blanket strewn across his long legs. Bruce sits in the very back seat alone, softly chewing on a green apple candy cane and listening to music through his headphones Natasha had bought him several years ago for his birthday.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Pepper's car, Tony uncharacteristically sits in the back seat with Peter and Steve, obviously with Peter sitting in the middle so as to avoid any more cataclysmic fights between the two grown men. Peter and Tony both fully nodded off almost as soon as the car was in motion, and it only took Steve about ten more minutes to follow them into dreamland. Bucky manages to wrap a single snowman blanket around Tony and Peter before draping a nutcracker blanket on Steve, making sure not to wake any of them from the deep slumber.

"What an exciting day," Bucky grins at Pepper, and the CEO of Stark Industries can't help but agree. "I don't think I've had that much fun since Steve and I were young before the war started," he admits, and that line both destroys and lifts Pepper's heart.

"I'm glad everyone seemed to have had fun today. Steve and Tony didn't fight as much as I thought they would, which is a good sign that things are slowly returning back to normal," Pepper speaks her own thoughts on the matter.

"That's 'cause you've got a great kid there, ma'am. He draws everyone together," Bucky smiles, casting a glance back at Peter. "He's the glue this rag-tag family of heroes and ex-criminals needs."

"You know Peter's not mine and Tony's son, right?" Pepper inquires, looking through the rearview mirror at Tony and Peter sharing the same blanket and sleeping so soundly near one another in the backseat.

"Well, you could've had me fooled if I didn't know that. He's a great kid, and it seems he's learned the best from both of you. Your empathy and Tony's dedication and drive to saving the world are engrained in that kid. As far as parenting goes, you two have got this in the bag already."

"That's very kind of you, Bucky. I appreciate all that you said. Peter really is a _phenomenal_ kid; I'm grateful Tony found him all those years ago."

Switching on the radio, Pepper can't laugh at the irony as the snow begins to fall around them once more as the drive back to Avengers Tower, the drive back _home_ continues.

" _Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful! And since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"_ Dean Martin's voice peacefully and joyously croons from the radio, taking Pepper back to early in her childhood when her own parents used to play this on the long car rides back home from grandmother's.

* * *

 **Author's Note: And there's Chapter Four! I'm already one-third of the way done with this fic, and wow, has it been a lot of work so far! But, nothing is too much work for my Secret Santa gift to Rival Argentica! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, everyone! As always, reviews are appreciated; I hope you all thoroughly enjoyed this chapter! I think it's my second favorite of the story so far with Chapter Two being my favorite thus far! Rival Argentica, I hope you are continuing to enjoy your gift; all of this has been written with you in mind the entire time! Here's to our friendship, girl! Anyway, until the next chapter, dear readers! Have an amazing day, afternoon, or night! Now I'm off to get some inspiration for tomorrow's writing session, and then I'm off to bed! :) I appreciate every single one of you!**


	5. Five Dozen Cookies

**No Place Like Home for the Holidays**

 _Chapter Five: Five Dozen Cookies_

 **Disclaimer: I still do not own any of the canon Marvel characters; they belong to Marvel and Stan Lee. In addition, I obviously do not own any of the songs mentioned in the fic.**

* * *

When the large group returns to Avengers Tower, Tony immediately begins to speak into the AI, giving a soft command to help bring the Christmas spirit back into the entire tower.

"Friday, play 'The Christmas Song' by Nat King Cole," Tony calls, a candy cane poking out of the side of his mouth and Peter's Santa hat bouncing up and down on his head.

"Of course, sir," Friday remarks, starting the track on every speaker in the tower for maximum coverage.

 _"_ _Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,"_ Nat King Cole's voice melodically sings, and a sense of peace and calm sweeps over the group of eleven, adding a much-needed domesticity to the entire scene.

"Now then! Who's up for making cookies?" Steve excitedly inquires, making a beeline for the kitchen, liking this holiday tradition more than almost any other.

"I am!" Peter happily calls, racing up the stairs not too far behind Steve Rogers. "Wait for me, Steve!" he continues to shout after the Super Soldier, knowing that Steve has one of the best cookie recipes in existence.

"Come, Jane. I am very curious to see how I can help partake in the making of these Christmas treats!" Thor widely grins, taking Jane's hand in his own before walking up the stairs with her, one of the God of Thunder's massive hands resting on her rounded stomach. "And I am sure our children would love to help sample some of the finished product," he lovingly remarks in a whisper, and Jane cannot help but feel her heart overflow with love for her husband in more way than one.

His innocence regarding Christmas is always a reason for why Jane falls more and more in love with her Asgardian husband, and his tenderness regarding their unborn twins is something that Jane Foster can firmly say is something she never thought she would find on Midgard, least of all with the _actual_ God of Thunder. Holding Thor's free hand, Jane feels happier than ever before, and she must admit that, yes, Christmas cookies sounded like an amazing way to settle her sudden craving for chocolate.

* * *

Bruce Banner should have known that it would be a trying experience in attempting to teach Thor, Loki, and Natasha how to make homemade Christmas cookies from scratch. Somehow, Bruce was elected to be the leader of such a project, even though Steve and Peter were the ones most looking forward to the whole process. Steve is even the one with the _recipe,_ for crying out loud! And yet, Dr. Banner is to be head of the cookie-making process, much to his chagrin, as he had hoped to just be able to aid Natasha in making Christmas cookies, grabbing his girlfriend's hand in his own at certain intervals to complete the slightly stereotypical move of a man helping his significant other learn new skills through physical contact. And yet, all of that has pretty much been ruined.

"I'm just sayin', there's a much better way to make cookies than just having to put them in the oven! We could do stovetop cookies, or I could get out a mini torch!" Tony continues his argument with Steve that Bruce has been trying to tune out for nearly twenty minutes as everyone tries to make a batch of cookies.

"Oven-baked cookies are the only traditional type of cookies that I am making this year, Stark! So, you can just stuff any of those fancy, high-tech ideas in a stocking, because this is the way my mother always made them, and I remember that she had some absolutely amazing Christmas cookies!" Steve shouts back, mixing his bowl of batter furiously and with much more strength than is required, resulting in cookie batter sloshing out of the side of the bowl and onto the front of Peter's Christmas sweater that proclaims 'Oh, snap!' with a gingerbread man's leg cracking off at the bottom.

Tony can't help but snort, because, come on, Capsicle actually made a pretty good joke for once.

"He's right, you know. His mom did make some of the best Christmas cookies I've ever had!" Bucky sticks up for his best friend and brother-in-arms, stirring his own bowl of batter with his non-metallic arm, using just the right amount of speed and strength so as to keep all the contents in the bowl and _not_ on Peter's sweater. "It's her recipe we're using! I think you should stick to this one, Stark. Good cookies are all the proof you'll need," the Winter Soldier admits.

"I like Steve's recipe, Mr. Stark! The batter alone is _delicious!"_ Peter joins Captain Amercia's team for the first known time in history, and Tony feels quite betrayed by his protégé.

"Traitor! Who knew you would choose the holidays to go rogue on me, kid?" Tony inquires in a serious tone of voice, cracking an egg into his own bowl while still staring at the friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

"I'm not going rogue, Mr. Stark! I-"

"Uh-huh. Tell it to the cookie judge, kid."

Pepper manages to diffuse the situation by telling Tony that he could make his stovetop cookies if he so desired, but he needed to make sure not to disrespect Steve's family recipe. Not for the first time in his life, Bruce Banner realizes how extremely thankful he is that Virginia Pepper Potts exists in this world. He would _hate_ to see or meet Tony Stark in a world where Pepper didn't exist. Just thinking such a thought makes Bruce shudder violently.

* * *

Teaching Natasha how to make Christmas cookies also does not go anywhere near how Bruce intended it. If such a mission wasn't all in good fun and meant to serve as a familial activity for the Avengers, Bruce knows that he would surely turn into the Hulk just because of the stress attributed to this rather mundane activity. Such a matter escalates when Clint and Natasha begin to flick a spoonful of cookie dough at a time at one another, making a war even messier than the snowball fight they just returned home from. Cookie dough splatters against Clint's hair, and as retaliation, Clint flings a spoon of cookie dough onto Natasha's cheek, creating quite the mess as some of the unbaked mixture drips onto the floor of the kitchen right beside Bruce's sneakered feet.

"Can we please stop tossing cookie dough?" Bruce practically begs, sounding for all the world like a tired father of twins, quadruplets if you count the continuing battle between Steve and Tony. "Someone is going to have to clean this up. And that someone is probably going to be me," he reminds, sighing as he puts the finishing touches on his and Natasha's bowl of cookie dough.

"Sorry, Bruce," Natasha sweetly smiles, sending one more catapult of cookie dough in Clint's direction, striking the bowman's chin.

"Sorry, man! I didn't think of it that way," Clint apologizes, grabbing a paper towel to wipe the cookie dough off his chin.

"Do you get into cookie dough fights with Laura and the kids?" Natasha asks in all seriousness, already sure that she knows the answer to that particular question.

"Of course not! Laura would tan my hide if I ever threw cookie dough in her kitchen!" Clint laughs, his eyes filled with joy as he thinks of his darling wife and the mother of his three children. "You know I answer to her. If I ever did such a thing, I'd be banned to the couch for a week, if not two!" he barks with laughter, and Natasha hums in agreement, knowing that Laura Barton would do just that to punish her husband in his childish antics.

Meanwhile, when Bruce casts a look behind him, he sees Thor attempting to crack an egg into the bowl, but the God of Thunder's strength proves too much for the activity, and the shell of the eggs end up in the bowl as well, and Jane must instruct her husband to pick out all of the eggshells from the cookie dough batter, lest everyone get sick from that batch of cookies. Not only is Thor amusing to watch, but Loki is also quite entertaining in his own right, as he is simply stirring the bowl of batter with his magic, not even touching the spoon with his hand, as such an activity is certainly beneath the God of Mischief.

* * *

While waiting on the cookies to bake- Tony's on the stovetop and everyone else's cookies in the oven as intended- Peter suddenly gets the idea of something that they have forgotten in the past weeks.

"We forgot to sing more of the Avengers 12 Days of Christmas!" Peter gasps, appalled at the situation and wondering how on Earth he could have forgotten such a thing.

"Well, kid, where'd we leave off?" Tony inquires, flipping over his last cookie on the stove, smiling when he notices that it is a beautiful golden-brown color.

"The second day," Peter remarks once he's had time to think back to the last time he sang the song.

"So, let us just start from the fifth day," Thor declares, taking just a moment to remember the words from the previous verses Peter and Pepper sang two weeks ago. "On the fifth day of Christmas, the Avengers gave to me: five dozen cookies!" Thor sings in a loud, although very smooth voice, his golden hair shining in the light of the kitchen, and it is no wonder that Drax called the God of Thunder the offspring of an angel and a pirate during the Infinity War.

"Four thousand snowballs!" Clint joins in the singing, pulling his batch of cookies out of the oven and starting to frost them with the upmost precision and care, making tiny bows and arrows for his gingerbread men.

(Because, although the cookies were not made of gingerbread batter, Clint had used the gingerbread man mold because he wanted to create an army of cookies to look like mini Hawkeyes.)

"Three teams for shopping," Bruce quietly sings, and everyone is shocked by his addition to the song since the stress of the kitchen environment was starting to get to him.

"Two hundred ornaments," Pepper sings in a melodic tone that makes Tony silently compare his fiancée to an angel, an angel that he is absolutely thrilled he is going to marry in a few months' time.

"And permission to put up a tree!" Peter happily sings, a large smile on his face as the timer for all of the cookies goes off.

Everyone exchanges silent and concerned expressions, not sure if this is what will finally tip Steve and Tony over the edge enough to have a second Civil War amongst the Avengers.

* * *

It turns out, all of the fears surrounding the cookie tasting contest are nothing to be worried about. After the initial decorating process, it is determined that Thor and Loki were to be the judges of the great cookie bakeoff between Iron Man and Captain America, because they are the only two members on the team who have not yet tasted Christmas cookies, stovetop or otherwise. And so, the two Asgardian brothers are the two 'taste-testing judges' in the cookie war between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

"Like the ones off of _Chopped!"_ Thor remarks in a jolly tone, and Jane realizes that she would have to stop letting Peter introduce the God of Thunder to so many new cooking shows so quickly.

One day, Jane caught Thor trying to re-create a dish he had seen Michael Symon make on Iron Chef, and it nearly destroyed their kitchen when Thor attempted to make a crème brûlée. That had ended in a call to the fire department by the neighbors, and Jane had to have a very real conversation to her new husband about fire safety. In the present day, Loki and Thor begin to judge the cookies in front of them, each of the brothers taking one from Steve's pile of sugar cookies decorated like his shield and one from Tony's pile of cookies that are decorated like his Iron Man suit. When the judging is over, Loki agrees that Tony's cookies are better, whereas Thor concedes that Steve's oven-made cookies are far superior.

"Well, how are we supposed to judge a tie?" Tony exasperatedly sighs, scrunching up his brow in confusion and slight annoyance, because, _of course,_ it would end in a tie.

* * *

Unbeknownst to anyone else, a new figure appears in the kitchen, and a hand soon appears behind Bucky, swiping a cookie from Steve's plate of offerings.

"Steve wins. No question about it," Sam Wilson remarks around a mouthful of Captain America's sugar cookies, a smile on his face and mischief shining in his eyes. "Homemade cookies made right are the winners _every time_ ," Falcon insists, taking a second cookie before Bucky all but rips the tray of decorated cookies away from the war veteran.

"Well, there ya have it, Tony. Original recipes are better than any new inventions when regarding cookies," Clint grins, and if there was still any batter remaining, Tony would have flung it at the back of Hawkeye's head.

"Sam, what are you doing back so early?" Steve asks, giving his friend a pat on the back to welcome him back to the Avengers Tower.

Before he can answer, Peter starts to talk to avoid any total surprises.

"Ummm… Mr. Stark?" Peter sheepishly begins to say before trailing off to wait for acknowledgement.

"Yeah, kid? What's up?"

"I don't know if now's a good time to tell you this, but I sorta invited some guests over for Christmas. And I put on the invitations that they could come as early as the 17th…" the young Spiderman smiles as a nervous chuckle escapes his lips.

"And how many guests _exactly_ did you invite, Peter?"

"Ummm…. I think close to twenty or twenty-five…."

It takes everything in Tony Stark's power not to let his temper spiral out of control at the thought of the twelve people currently in Stark Tower plus _twenty-five_ more people that Peter extended invitations to. The young Spiderman is going to be the death of this billionaire one day.

* * *

 **Author's Note: And there's Chapter 5! I hope everyone enjoyed! As always, reviews are appreciated; I care for the opinion of all of you, my dear readers! I hope you all have a great day, afternoon, or evening! Now, I can't say much else right now, because I've got about two hours to write before I go to sleep for the night, and the Secret Santa deadline is tomorrow, and I want to have at least six chapters up for Rival Argentica tomorrow! See you all in the next chapter when the guests arrive!**


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